Learning to Breathe Again at the Edge of the Year

 Hi beautiful people 🤍,

I hope life is treating you kindly. 🌱

As for me—I’m here. Physically present, mentally drained. It’s Tuesday, yet Friday feels so far away. The only comfort is knowing this is the last week of work this year. And honestly… how did we even get here?

One moment I was starting the year happy—eating ice cream in peace 🍦, feeling light and hopeful. Then came the turbulence. 2025, I wasn’t ready for you. I don’t think I’ll miss you much, but I will acknowledge you. You taught me lessons I never asked for. You took things I never imagined losing. And still, I thank God for the small mercies 🙏—like ending this year single and whole. No new heartbreaks, no new wounds.

The last relationship I was in ended back in 2024—two months in, on June 13. People say it was the worst decision of my life. Maybe they’re right. I sold myself short, and I’m still learning to forgive myself for that. Some days, the regret shows up uninvited, reminding me of choices I wish I had made differently 💔. I know I should be gentler with myself… but healing isn’t always linear.

So let’s leave that chapter where it belongs and come back to today.

Sitting here in the office, I realize something that hurts in a quiet way: I miss myself. I miss my attitude, my prayer life, the real me—the one who laughs easily, loves loudly, writes endlessly ✍🏽. The girl who reads books and rarely scrolls. Now my phone begs for rest as I spend hours lost on TikTok 📱, and I barely recognize my routines anymore.

My health has shifted too. My body has changed, and while it carries me faithfully 🤍, I’m still learning how to make peace with it. I’ve been surviving on sugar and convenience, trading long walks for extra sleep 😴. I wake up tired, rush through mornings, and move through days feeling disorganized and heavy. How did I get here?

I haven’t written properly in months. I haven’t journaled in what feels like years. My prayers have grown quiet. Some days, it feels like I’m not even surviving—just existing. Drowning, really 🌊. And I keep asking myself, Lord, how did we get here?

I didn’t plan to write this much today. But this blog is my diary, my safe place 🕊️. I needed to release a little of what’s been weighing on me—to name the tiredness, the confusion, the longing to return to myself.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for holding space for my honesty 💛.

Maybe—just maybe—we can start a gentle detox together 🌸. Of habits, of noise, of everything that pulls us away from who we truly are.

With love,

Her 🤍